Sick of it

im so sick..
tired..exhausted..
close to suffocated
i dont like the feeling..
but im loving it
feeling of you next to mine
makes me feel half alive
you are the reason why i smile
and you are also the reason why im in oblivion..
you don't know how much you mean to me..
cause you never care..
its like im offering my
most beautiful portrait to a blind person..

who am i to you?
what am i to you?
questions playing in m mind
seeking for unanswered thoughts
i want to hold on
but theres no on to hold onto..
i want to let go this feelings
but how can i let go of someone that was never been mine???

i hate it when i think of you every night before i go to sleep..
i hate it every time you lean you head in my shoulder
i hate it when every time my phone beeps..it was you
i hate it when..i see you sad..
i hate it when i know..all that i hate was all that i love the most..